Behold the Counselor

Counselors are an enigmatic portion of our race: Rare and difficult to understand. Slightly more than 3% of our world consists of counselors and, due to their heavily concealed personalities, if you know one, you may not even recognize it.

How to Recognize a Counselor

Counselors are hard to pick out. Even they may not realize what they really are. They live rich and emotional lives, but constantly broadcast a brave face and hide their feelings away. One of the signs of a counselor is that you will constantly be learning new things about them. This isn't necessarily because they are constantly changing, but because there's almost always some part of there personality that you've never asked about.

In groups, counselors pay a great deal of attention to group cohesion. They will friend people individually, but can be awkward in groups, even of friends. They will use these friendships to help people get along better as they work their magic from the background. Rarely will they take lead, but when they do, they lead very emotionally and vest in the people under them. Much of their focus as leaders will be making sure that everyone is getting along.

If you make friends with a counselor, they will quickly prove that they are someone who can be confided in and depended on. It will be difficult, however, to convince them to confide in or depend on you. They are too focused on helping others around them to consider that others may want to help them. Often, they will shoulder the burden of themselves as well as everyone they love. They won't give any sign of the weight they're under. They will simply continue to smile and help.

What to do with a Counselor

Counselors represent a great emotional value. As a friend their focus is on you. They want you to be happy. They want you to be successful. They want to help you with your problems. With so much focus on the well being of others, they are also easily taken advantage of, even accidentally. Be careful how much you rely on a counselor. They will rarely ask for anything in return, but if taken advantage of, they will eventually realize it. The pain they feel from that will cause them to withdrawal. This withdrawal can possibly be so deep they become practically inaccessible.

In group settings, counselors are a valuable tool to cure damages in emotional structure. If made aware of emotional deficits in the group, they will almost automatically start to resolve them, if resolution is possible. Many times, they won't even realize the impact of what they've done. Also, counselors are very adept at picking up on the intentions of others. If they spend time developing this natural skill, they can make predictions about people that seem almost psychic. Even without full realization, counselors are very good barometers of personalities.

Counselors make complicated partners as being open does not come easily to them. They will be happy to listen to all of your problems. When it's their turn, however: Silence. Often it may seem nothing is wrong at all. You may have to learn to “trick” your partner into tell you how they feel until they can open up. Other times, it may seem that something is wrong when nothing is. Having time alone is very important to the counselor. They will need time to recharge as almost every interaction they have with people will be draining. Understanding this will be a very important part of maintaining a relationship with a counselor.

Over time, the counselor will warm up to you and communication will be easier. Unfortunately, this can also be easily undone. Counselors maintain a protective shell that takes a long time to break down. If you hurt a counselor that has opened up to you, you can undo months or years or trust. A counselor can be one of the most complicated people you know, but they can also be one of the most interesting and entertaining.


References

Portrait of the Counselor
INFJ